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One always has to know when a stage comes to an end…
If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness
and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give
it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have
finished.
Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave
your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended
all of a sudden?
You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell
yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that
were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like
that.
But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your
parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister,
everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with
life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.
None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when
we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not
return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt
or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with
someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back.
Things pass, and the best we can do is
to let them really go away.
That is why it is so important (however
painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to
orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this
visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in
our hearts – and getting rid of certain
memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach
yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes
we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect
your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be
understood. Stop turning on your
emotional television to watch the same program over and over
again, t he one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that
is only poisoning you, nothing else.
Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken
off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”
Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself
that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when
you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a
habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but
it is very important.
Closing
cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that
no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house,
shake off the dust.
Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.
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karamay ko.kasama ko.ang dalawang bagay na nakakaintindi sa akin.at kung makakapagsalita lamang, malamang lahat ng saloobin ko ay alam nyo na.
